Too familiar, contemptuous or downright hostile: these grievances come from patients who are disappointed by their therapist. What is it really? If it is difficult to assess the competence of the "good" psychiatrist, there are still signs of bad practice that do not deceive. Investigation without taboos.Isabelle Taubes
"For the first time, with this psychiatrist, I felt soothed from the first interview, surprised Nadia, 49, who has just decided to resume work on itself. I was able to put my bags, what a relief! I do not come back. I usually went out more anxious, more angry or slaughtered than before the consultation.I think I finally found the therapist I need , and exactly at the right time. "
Would Nadia have only been with bad psys? Not necessarily. Very often, meeting a therapist actually leads to a better feeling, a renewed optimism, especially at the beginning. Yet to be worse off leaving him is not necessarily the sign that one has knocked on the wrong door. It may even be a "normal" reaction, assures the psychoanalyst Bernard-Elie Torgemen. Because our suffering has finally been taken seriously and we allow ourselves to worry about us, to collapse or to revolt. When we enter the universe of the torments of the soul, it is no longer a question of normality. Moreover, stresses the psychoanalyst, "it is well to the extent that we have difficulties with it that we consult". If there is one criterion to remember, it is that of feeling immediately at ease with the professional we have chosen. In fact, says Bernard-Elie Torgemen, in the relationship between a psychiatrist and his patient, "there is something chemical, it's a love story". As a result, none can be good for all of humanity. The practitioner who pulled our best friend out of deep depression may be totally deaf to us.
One who eats in session
An excellent therapist with a reserved temper will freeze a patient who wants more warmth. Too expansive, it may annoy a person in silence. Whoever eats his croissants in session, while the noises of chewing horrify us, or who receives us late, while we are obsessed with punctuality, is likely to make us run away without us being able to qualify as "bad "It's just not for us. Moreover, even a good psychiatrist can be disastrous when elements of his patient's life touch too closely to personal matters. The empathic bond that develops between the therapist and his patient is the driving force of the work.But it favors uncontrolled projections. An excellent practitioner is not immune to this kind of confusion.
This is how Audrey, a 37-year-old Parisian, and her first psychiatrist had to separate ... "I had lost my job," she says, "and after that failure I was convinced that I not interested in any employer so much I was nil.I sounded at the door of a well known psychiatrist whose books I appreciated.The first sessions were a real relief.But very soon raised the question of payment. asked me too much, so I had to borrow money from my parents, who was emotionally blackmailing me, so far from stimulating me to find work, the amounts required increased my blockages and my anxiety. The dialogue becoming impossible, he kicked me out. " Years later, Audrey learned from friends and colleagues in her psychiatrist that although he had a lot of success stories, he had a real problem with the money, linked to his own story.
Under the pretext of neutrality and not to influence their clientele, some practitioners refuse to explain their career path, to indicate which therapeutic trend they belong to. These are to be avoided: we have the right to know to whom we entrust our souls. Do not be fooled by those who display their diplomas. "Nothing prevents being hyperdiplomed, to have written several books and to be a deplorable psychologist." To read the work of the historians of the psychoanalysis, in particular The Patients of Freud, destinies of Mikkel Borch-Jacobsen, it is clear that the father of psychoanalysis was a great theoretician but a very poor healer.
He who immediately knows
"The psys have no manual telling them how to intervene with accuracy in all circumstances, says Anne Daucher, psychotherapist. In a session, reading a newspaper, texting, or answering the phone are usually signals that say, "You are losing yourself in sterile blah-blah. "But the message may not pass and be understood as:" Your stories do not interest me, I want only your money. "Like any relationship, the therapeutic link is not free from misunderstandings, and sometimes a catastrophic act may have positive effects and, conversely, an act to protect the patient may lead to a break-up. When his psychiatrist forbade him to leave with his lover, an alcoholic and cynical man, Anne did not endure it, and one year later, she still thinks it was an abuse of power. required of a psychiatrist that he shows "benevolent neutrality": that he is neither too distant nor too familiar, that he does not treat us from the outset, that he abstains from inviting us to take a drink or dinner.
On the other hand, "provide the address of a family planning center to a young pregnant woman in distress, contact a lawyer with an abused wife, comfort a collapsed patient, hand him a handkerchief, bring him a glass of water, it is not, in my opinion, out of the position of neutrality, believes Anne Daucher.It remains indifferent to someone who has just broken or lose a parent, it is that which signals the bad psychiatrist. "" A psyche first looks with what he is, with his desire to heal, insists Pierre André, a psychotherapist.A therapist should refrain from consulting in times of depression, when his deadly impulses lead the game: it can only be bad, it can not be effective when we can not be benevolent and supportive. "
According to Bernard-Elie Torgemen," there is no bad psychiatrist: a bad shrink is a crook ". Quite simply! Because he asks to be paid for a therapeutic effect that he can not provide. This is the case with behaviors that have nothing to do with the therapeutic framework, which must lead us to take the door as soon as possible.