My husband did not neither opinion nor envy

My husband did not neither opinion nor envy

I feel alone. Yet there are three of us: my daughter, my husband and me. My husband takes part in household chores, shopping, outings, meals ... What worries me is that he never takes a stand on anything, he has no opinion. I have to ask him, that I push him to know. Our daughter has a lot of character and is very opposed. She is 2 years old. We are firm but not the right way. My question is this: would a dad who does not have an opinion have an influence on our loss of credibility with our daughter? My husband does not occupy his place with me sexually since he does not seek any hug, if I do not do it, we have no intimate life. I'm afraid of being in distress and not being able to "turn the tide". I need help. Anna

Alain Héril

Sex therapist


What you are talking about is a family life where your husband is a spectator. This plays on the educational level but also on the intimate level. To get out of this impasse, you have to explore several tracks.

First you ask about the place you occupy. Is not it too important? Is not your husband suffocated by a presence on your part that would be too powerful and prevent him from finding his own? Maybe he does not have an opinion because you have too much and because of this he feels "castrated" in this situation.

Then it is good to know since when did he lose any sexual appetite? Is it since the arrival of your daughter? In this case, perhaps he feels more father than anything else and can not distinguish between his educational role (giving orders, imposing his choices, asserting limits ...) and his emotional role (being loving, attentive, present, reassuring ...) with your daughter.

Last thing: It seems that everyday life and differences of opinion about your daughter's education take up a lot of space in your relationship. This can affect his libido. As if he "used" his lack of desire to mark his discontent.

It is sure that all of this is linked and leads to the relational difficulty you are talking about. As in all things, concerning the couple, it would be good for you to be together from time to time as lovers in order to talk quietly about your worries and leave, in a place and a non-daily space, the desire to catch his breath.

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